Friday, July 26, 2013

5 years

I'll admit it.  

I nearly forgot our anniversary was today. 

I had stuck in my head it was Sunday.  I don't keep up with what day of the month it is anymore, but that's still no excuse.  I guess it's just evidence that I'm tired.

So... 5 years ago today, right now, I was working on the telemetry floor.  Yes, I worked the night before I got married.  12 hour shift.

There was no honeymoon.  There was no wedding cake.  There was no bouquet or garter toss.  No flower girl or ring man.  No matching dresses and coordinated tuxes.

The wedding party

There's no white picket fence.  There are no cookies cooling on the counter.  There are no flowers on the table.  There are no beautiful curtains on the windows, no softly lit reading corner, no Better Homes & Gardens worthy decor.

There are, however, two baby girls asleep in cribs, one who looks just like her Daddy, one who looks just like her Mommy.  And the one who can say something besides "nono" asks about her DaDa every day.  We've been counting down till the day he comes home.  This morning, when she wakes up and says "DaDa?" I'll get to tell her "today.  DaDa will be here today."

There are two dogs.  They are causing significant trouble with housing right now, and they aren't helping my to-do list get any shorter, but they are testimony to the effect a man can have on a woman's fears.

There are boxes.  And boxes.  And more boxes.  Boxes that signify a new life for us.  A life of having meals together, weekends together, worship together.  Not just half the time.  The majority of the time.

The Mechanic said it best when he said "It figures that the only way for us to be a normal family is to go to an abnormal place."

Have the last five years been what I thought they'd be?  No.  Nor have they met his expectations.  I didn't expect easy, but I didn't expect this hard either.  Would I change anything?  Yes.

The one thing I know I wouldn't change, though, is this.  My answer to this question: "Do you, Stephanie, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?  ... for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and obey until death do us part."

I haven't always fulfilled my vows.  Actually, I've not fulfilled them more than I have.  That whole honor and obey part... work in progress.  I hope.

It's not the dreamy Prince Charming fairy tale little girls dream of.  In real life, unlike in Anne of Green Gables, you can't beat a guy down over and over and expect him to stay madly in love with you.  There's no mood music for those perfect moments.  And once you bring kids into the mix, any romantic moment you might experience has the tendency to be interrupted by a baby's wails or the sound of an exploding diaper.

But it's real.

Friendships in college were forged by facing the same trials together.  By dreading the same final, toiling over the same research assignment, dealing with the same 5 midterms within two days. Adversity drives you to lean on each other, to support each other, to sometimes scream at each other but come back later to share the carton of ice cream you bought together.

Marriage is the same way.  An easy, rose petal covered path would lead to a shallow relationship.  But when the road is rocky, when there are thorns and howling winds, that is when you learn who you can depend on.

Looking forward to the next five years of rocky roads with my Mechanic.

 I'd rather face dirt roads and blizzards with you than have a white picket fence on a neighborhood street with anyone else. I love you. 

1 comment:

  1. Grandma Lucy and Aunt Linda really enjoyed your pictures and your story, Love ya. Have a safe trip and enjoy your move to Montana.