There's a cow in my yard.
That's not something I expected to say while living in my current house. My in-laws live on a dairy farm, and it's not uncommon to pull in and see a few cows in the side yard. It's not a big deal, they just call their landlord and he comes down to herd them back inside the fence before they get hit by a car.
But I live very much in town. I live 5 blocks from the fire department, 6 blocks from the main street in town. I can walk to the library. The school is within spitting distance. I do not live in the country.
But when someone drove by and asked "who'd have a cow in the city?" my immediate answer was "this isn't a city!"
I was sitting on my couch, watching Hulu and eating my grilled cheese and Cheetos, minding my own business, when I noticed flashing blue lights out the living room window. My neighbors have had visits from the police, the Mechanic and I have given first aid to passed out drunks in the street, so I make it a point to keep my eyes open to what's going on around my front porch. The police SUV was sitting right next to my mailbox so I stuck my head out to see if he needed to speak to me. And what do I see, in the yard where my dogs normally are, but a cow. Not a full grown cow, but not a baby either. Definitely big enough that I wouldn't want to get in his way.
So this cow wanders across my yard, sniffs the grass (probably sniffing dog poo), and meanders towards the back. Now there's heavy brush on the back side of the yard, so I figured he was going to cut through on my driveway. That's what the police thought too. So they turned around and went down the street to try to catch him. Only he changed his mind, and came back up the yard and wandered into the street. There I was, on my front porch, downtown in small-town USA, looking at a cow standing smack dab in the middle of the road.
Someone pulled up to the stop sign with their window rolled down and said something to the effect of "that's a huge dog!" I informed them that wasn't a dog, that was a cow. And said cow was still being pursued by the police SUV. So it took off down the alley across the street. And once the police got close enough we pointed the him in the right direction. Apparently, the police SUV decided he couldn't handle this nasty criminal on his own, so he called for back-up.
To make a long, mosquito ridden story shorter, I was provided 15 minutes of entertainment by watching the police SUV, a police car, a white pick-up, a red pick-up, and a brown Suburban chase this cow around in circles and up and down the road. Well worth the 26 mosquito bites I received as the price for such a show. You know, some people pay $50 a seat to watch something like that...
I'm just glad I wasn't the first one to spot the cow. "911, what is your emergency?" "Well, this isn't precisely an emergency, but there's a cow in my yard. Can someone please come get him?"