And I don't care.
This sounds horrible. These are the days we use to celebrate the day our Savior died and rose again.
But holidays don't mean anything to me anymore. They're just another day. Perhaps a more inconvenient day because more places are closed or there's more traffic.
I've said this before, many times. I've questioned the meaning of holidays. And here's the only answer I've received: Holidays to me means being with family. I can't wait to have everyone home for Christmas with all of our traditions. I think I get more excited than any of the kids. I'm always the first one up and turning on the Christmas music trying to wake every one else up. I think back about all of my memories of shared holidays and it makes my day.
Here's my reply: But you're missing my point. You can't always be with family, especially when you're in healthcare; there's illness and deployment that keep people apart too. The view that "holidays are all about family" is what drives people to the hospital this time of year; they don't want to be alone. It's also what drives people to commit suicide this time of year, especially when they've lost loved ones.
I was writing about Christmas/New Years, but the same holds true for other holidays. I guess I have the idea that holidays are all about traditions... and if you don't follow those traditions than it's meaningless.
So I question myself, what does Easter mean to me? When I think "Easter" what do I think of? Ham. Deviled eggs. New dress. Little girls wearing hats. Easter baskets. Hiding and finding Easter eggs. Chocolate. Maundy Thursday service. Singing "Up From the Grave He Arose" and "Jesus Christ is Risen Today." Packed pews with people I've never seen before and children who clearly don't spend much time in the pew.
What am I doing this year for Easter? Well... Ladybug has a new dress from her Grandma. I haven't gotten the songs for this Sunday in my e-mail yet but I'm interested to see what we sing. And then I'm driving to Chattanooga alone (well, with Ladybug in the back seat) and spending the night at the Ronald McDonald house. And Easter Monday will be spent in the hospital and doctor's offices and on the interstate.
I'm tempted to go back to the store tomorrow and get stuff to dye eggs. Just to start a tradition of some sort. I guess I could find the story of the crucifixion/resurrection in the Bible story books I've gotten for Ladybug and read those to her.
So I ask once again: What's a holiday? For the soldier overseas, what's the point? For the nurse working night shift in ICU, is it any different than any other day? For the mom doing the same exact thing day in and day out, does it even matter?