Saturday, January 21, 2012

Worries.

Funny how life works. You make a decision that you believe will be best for your family. Then something happens and you stagger and wonder if you did the right thing. And then you realize you did the best thing you possibly could have and everything will work itself out.

The verse that's been running through my head recently has been "He will supply all your needs according to the riches in Christ Jesus." No idea where that's found or if that's exactly what is said, but the idea is there. My needs will be met. Somehow. And at this point, not just mine, but my child's, and my family's.

We have an ultrasound scheduled for Ladybug's head next week. I noticed on the evening before my last day of work a lump on the side of her head. No bruising, no swelling, just a hard lump. You have to know our family history to imagine what this immediately brought to mind. The Mechanic, his brother, his dad, and our nephew have all had to have major surgeries (basically getting scalped and then put back together) due to a condition called craniostenosis. This is where the soft spots and sutures in the skull harden and fuse too early. The result is an extremely misshapen head, and the results from having a brain with no room to grow. Now, it's fixable, with the surgery. Still, a little scary for a mom.

Anyway, so I looked at and felt the lump, I began finding other things that concerned me, like the ridges on her suture lines that weren't this prominent at birth, a small ridge down the middle of her forehead, and the very prominent forehead that seems to be moving forward, based on pictures. She's been crying out like she's in pain in her sleep for the last few weeks. So when our doctor, out for surgery, dropped by the office to pick up medical leave forms, I mentioned the lump to her. She had us go ahead and schedule the ultrasound so we'd have the results by her well child check next week.

I thought the local children's hospital did this surgery, but now I don't think they do. This means a trip to Knoxville's Children's, Vanderbilt's Children's, or Erlanger's Children's if something's wrong. And I immediately begin to think how we're ever going to afford this. But, for one, I'm borrowing trouble. We don't know for sure what's going on, and it may be something that will resolve on its own. It's also a good thing for me to be home if there's something going on; no worries about getting off work or day care for a post-surgical child. And God will provide whatever we need. Including peace for me.

*sigh* Having children builds faith. By necessity. =)

1 comment:

  1. oh goodness! i will be praying for you, friend! definitely give an update after you get the results! even if you just message me on fbook! His grace is sufficient.... Praying.

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