Monday, January 9, 2012

Watching and waiting

I'm a nurse. And a mommie. This makes for a bad combination. I'm not exactly a hypochondriac myself, but some might think I am concerning my child. Given that she's already had MRSA and campibacter, I think this is justified.

So I'm watching this lump on the back of her head. Now, I keep telling myself to feel the flat spot on the other side of her head. And I keep telling myself that this flat spot is why there is a lump on the other side. Flat spots aren't a big deal. I really hoped my child would not get one, but when she sleeps in her car seat at day care she couldn't help but get one.

What concerns me is her daddy's scars. And her uncle's scars. And her grandpa's scars. And her cousin's scars. And her other cousin's frequent doctor visits. All caused by a lovely little syndrome called Crouzon's. A form of craniostenosis, this is when a child's fontanels and sutures harden and close too early, leading to football shaped heads and bulging eyes. If not treated, it leads to insanity and death.

Now, it's treatable. And no one in the USA goes insane from craniostenosis now. We know what to look for and how to treat it. As I tell people, as much for the shock value as the educational value, they chop off the kid's head, fix it, and put it back on. Easy enough, right?

Still, I'd rather not deal with this. I'm hoping we can luck out and not have any kids with the syndrome. But given the 50/50 chance for each child... well, we just don't have that kind of luck.
So I watch. And feel. And check soft spots. And measure her head. And wonder when she wails if her head hurts. Or if she's wailing because she's over tired. Or hungry. Or wet. Or has a bellyache. Or isn't getting her way. Or is bored. Or is just being a drama queen.

In a similar but more pleasant note, heard a song on an Andrew Peterson album that rings true...
"It'll fall like rain on your parade
and laugh at the plans that you try to make
Wear you down till your heart just breaks,
And it's a good thing, love is a good thing.

It'll wake you up in the middle of the night
it'll take just a little too much
burn you like a cinder till you're tender to the touch
it'll chase you down and swallow you whole
it'll make your blood run hot and cold
like a thief in a night it'll steal your soul
and that's a good thing, love is a good thing

It'll follow you down to the ruins of the great divide
open the wounds that you try to hide
there in the rubble of the heart that died
you'll find a good thing, cause love is a good thing

It'll break your will, it'll change your mind
loose all the chains and the ties that bind
and if you're lucky you'll never make it out alive
and that's a good thing, love is a good thing

It can hurt like a blast from a hand grenade
when all that used to matter is blown away
there in the middle of the mess it made
you'll find a good thing,
yes it's worth every penny of the price you paid
it's a good thing, love is a good thing."

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