Wednesday, May 25, 2011

For some reason I tend to only write on this blog when I don't feel well. I guess it's because when I'm not sick, I feel guilty about sitting in front of the computer when there are so many other things that need to be done.

There's also the prego brain that means I have a hard time holding down a logical conversation, or remembering what I wanted to say for more than a minute at a time.

So for this update, I think I'll not even try to make a point, or be thoughtful or philosophical. I think I'll just write what's going on around here.

Baby Kelly seems to be doing well; she is very active and has already gone after my bladder and ribs with her feet. I feel her bumping around in there multiple times a day, so that provides some extra reassurance that she's fine even when I feel horrible. I feel huge, can't sit still for more than 15 minutes at a time, can't sit with my legs crossed or even together, can't really sit without being somewhat reclined or perched on the edge of a chair. Rolling over and getting up is also getting interesting. My back kills me, my front feels like it's going to explode, and that's without the food poisoning that seems to have set in recently. I find lower 70's hot, so how I'm going to make it through the summer I have no idea.

I'm definitely to the mental state of "holy cow, what have I done" when it comes to having a baby. I used to love seeing little babies... now I see them and get overwhelmed with the thought of "what am I going to do with something that small?" We get to meet our new niece this weekend, so we'll see how I do with a baby up close. Of course, having a major life event puts other things in perspectives, such as the bank account. When we came really close to over-drafting the checking account, I wasn't thrilled about it, but I didn't freak like I used to. If it happened, it happened, and we'd just move on. I am trying to spend less and cut out as much as possible. I keep reminding E that come October, he plans on spending lots of money on applications and we're going to be down to one income.

As for the rest of life... kids and money, what else is there? Oh yeah, I'm married... I think that now I'm making a visible effort to listen, things are much better. So when I have days where I really feel bad and get nothing done, it's not a sore point because I have been trying.

And I'm at my 15 minute sitting limit. =) Welcome to the random world of a pregnant brain.